Conversations and Agreements
by Ladybug-josie
Summary: Set after the press-conferance in 3.20. It was written before watching the final two episodes of the season. After the press conferance Alicia and Peter talk; about him running and the meaning and implications of that. As well as about Kresteva's threads, and what might be uncovered durring the campaign plus about thier future. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

My second Alicia and Peter story. It is set more or less right after episode 3.20 and I had not watched the final two episodes when I wrote this.

I am once again very grateful for Sabrina's amazing work on my story and her help in me becoming a better writer.

This story was original written as one very very long one shot, but Sabrina recommended that I split it into two so I followed her advice.

_Even more as this was original a one shot however over one night I had gotten an idea for at least 3 more chapters. And I have written one of those, however I will post that (them) as stand alone follow up stories._

I don't own the Good Wife, I only wish I did.

**Conversations and Agreements Part 1 **

The moment he finished speaking with another reporter, Eli pulled Peter aside, asking if he was okay and giving him the polling numbers about how Peter's announcement had been taken.

"Right now you are a hit, they like you more than Kresteva," Eli told Peter excited.

It was clear to everyone that Eli was far more excited over the numbers than Peter seemed to be. Peter, on the other hand, was looking everywhere but at Eli.

"Have you seen Alicia?" He finally asked Eli. He gave up on finding her, in the middle of all the press and people surrounding them.

"Yes, I got her to do an interview with a magazine a few minutes ago," Eli answered without looking up from his phone.

"An interview? She agreed to that?" Peter was confused. One thing was her showing up unannounced and telling him that she would be onstage with him and supporting him, but doing interviews, that was not something he had even imagined she would be doing.

"Yeah, she is over there, I think," Eli said, pointing to the right from there they were standing. He did not really seem that interested in anything besides what he was reading on his phone.

As Peter was about to go and find Alicia, Eli finally looked up.

"Shit, that did not take long." Eli sounded annoyed and irritated now.

"What did not take long?" Peter asked. He was getting impatient, in the need to find Alicia.

"Him responding." Eli was clearly annoyed by something or someone, but Peter did not really care. He wanted to find Alicia, talk to her about what was going on and he needed to tell her a few things as well.

"I don't know what you are talking about Eli, but could you please hurry up? I need to speak with Alicia," Peter told him, trying to hurry Eli along.

"Mike Kresteva has commented on your announcement and about Alicia being there," Eli told Peter.

"Oh..." Peter took the phone from Eli, so he could read what Kresteva said. It was about how he decided to run, even with what was discovered during Kresteva's investigation with the panel. More about how Alicia was a member there and tried to get Kresteva to change the report. How she went to see him again later on, asking him to change his findings and publicly saying that he made a mistake regarding Peter's involvement.

"I knew there would be an issue with her going to see him, but she did not listen to me." Eli complained. "I need to try and save this."

"Alicia went to see Kresteva?" Peter asked a bit confused.

"Yes, after his first accusations, I warned her but she still went," Eli told him.

This was a surprise to Peter, but at least it explained a few things. However he really needed to find her now. He needed to tell her what Mike warned him about and to figure out if she really was going to officially support him.

"Eli I need to go and find Alicia. I will tell her about this," Peter told the campaign manager. He then started to look for Alicia again, walking in the direction Eli pointed at.

And there she was. In the middle of an interview, she was smiling and clearly having the reporter eat out of her hand. That was something Peter always admired her for. That if she wanted, she could get everyone to eat out of her hand and rip into them the next second like a eagle catching its prey, if it was needed. Right now she was playing nice and easy going. As he stepped closer to them, the reported turned to ask him something, but he quickly interrupted.

"Excuse me if I break the interview off soon. I need to borrow my wife," he asked them. Alicia turned and smiled at him, clearly giving the photographer a chance to get a picture of the both of them as a couple.

"Yes, we are almost done. Just one more thing. Mike Kresteva has just said that you tried to get him to back down regarding the panel issues and his findings regarding your husband, and to say that he has been mistaken. Mrs. Florrick, is that correct?" Alicia looked shocked and taken back by what had just been fired at her.

Peter was surprised as well, since he really thought that she had the reporter playing right into her hand. Right now that was not the concept, so he quickly placed his hand on the small of her back, told the reporter that they had no comments and he needed to talk with Alicia.

After guiding her away before she managed to say something herself, he heard the cameras clicking away and other reporters calling out to both of them for a comment, but ignored it. He just concentrated on getting Alicia out of that room and in a more private place. As soon as he got her into the hallway, where they were alone, he turned to look at her.

"Are you okay?" He asked worried.

"How dare he! That bastard. How dare he say that!" She was clearly more angry than anything else.

Peter was glad he had gotten her away, before she could tell the reporter that and made a scene.

"Alicia..." He tried to calm her down.

"No, I won't calm down. How dare he do this again." Her voice was filled with hate for that man.

"Because he's playing dirty. Alicia, we need to talk about some stuff," Peter told her. He needed to inform her about what Kresteva told him, about how he would run. How he said that Peter might not regret it, but Alicia would. She looked at him and nodded like she already knew what it was about. "About something Kresteva told me," he continued.

"Okay, maybe we should go somewhere else? To talk I mean. Or do you have to go back to the hospital now?" She asked.

Peter nodded. "I should, but she's probably asleep, and I think it is important that we get to talk. I agree, we probably should go somewhere else. I think we need to do it where we don't have a risk of someone hearing us."

Alicia nodded once again. "Okay I'll meet you at your place in 15 minutes," she said, and Peter nodded agreeing to what she had come up with.

They both left the building through the back entrance, where only a few reporters tried to approach them, vainly. They just got into their cars and drove away.

He walked up to his apartment and had just gotten inside when he heard the knock indicating that Alicia had arrived. He opened the door and invited her in.

Peter took her coat and hung it up, before guiding her to a table where they could sit. It felt weird having her there. She had only been there to pick the kids up a few times since he moved in. Normally he picked them up and dropped them off, not the other way around.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?" He asked her, but she shook her head.

"No, it's okay." The tone of her voice left no doubt that she just wanted to get it over with.

"Okay. I met Mike Kresteva yesterday and I asked him to have a clean campaign. No going after family," Peter told her.

Alicia nodded in understanding. "He denied, didn't he?" She asked him.

"He did. He said that to keep an ambitious man from running, you'd go after his family with everything you had," Peter confirmed, not happy with having to tell her this at all, but he knew she needed to know what would be in front of them.

"I see. And what did you say to him?" She inquired.

"I told him I would find everything I could on him to get him down and beat him," Peter told her, leaving no doubt that he meant what he told Kresteva.

"Good. You should." Alicia's voice was hard and filled with anger and hate.

"It's not good all. He said that if I ran, I might not regret it, but you would." Peter finally told her the real problem.

"Oh." Alicia looked surprised for a short moment, then broke eye contact with him and looked down.

"Do you need me to drop out of the race? I will drop it if you want me to," Peter told her. His voice was sincere. It was clear that he meant what he said.

Alicia shook her head. "No, I... I knew that he most likely would be like that, after the meetings I had with him." She knew that it would most likely be like that. Still, hearing Peter telling her that Kresteva had confirmed it, was unsettling.

"Yeah, Eli said you met with Kresteva." Peter really wanted to know what went on during those meetings and how much they meant for her to agree on supporting him in running.

"I have. I had to recuse myself from the panel I was in with him. However he came to my office, telling me they decided to look more into things. He asked me to write a minority report. Something I denied and recused myself from once again." She had been both confused and annoyed when he showed up like that, even when she had already recused herself once. "He however went out and told the press that I invited him over for a talk. That I asked him to write up another report," she explained as she felt the anger from the other day because of the flash claims starting to blush up in her once more.

"I asked Eli to do something about it, but he wanted to let it die. I didn't, so I went to see him. He kept lying directly in my face, making it seem as I remembered things wrong," she told Peter, knowing that he would need the knowledge about this.

"Okay, and you came to me afterwards wanting me to run to beat him? Is it like this?" Peter inquired.

"Partly. I talked with Eli, he said that you were leaning towards not running. In short, I told him to come up with a plan and that I would think about supporting you. After that I went to talk to you." She explained. "Peter, I meant it when I said you'd be a good governor, and that I always admired your political abilities. You know I always shared most of your political views, that has not changed."

Peter could hear form the tone she was speaking in that she genuinely meant what she said.

"I might not have liked everything you did while in office, like letting your emotions get the best of you" Her last sentence was a clear hint of how she felt when he went after her firm and Will out of jealousy.

"However I always knew you wanted to do the right thing, and that you could go far and change things, in many ways for the better. And I really think you can do it better as governor than as State's Attorney." Her gaze held his and he could feel that she meant every word.

"Do you still feel like that? Since the campaign will most likely be hard. Things will come out," he asked. He needed to know that she would not hate him for it later. That she would not turn and suddenly stab him in the back in anger.

"I do. I want you to run, and I will support you in it, no matter what Kresteva brings up." She left him with no doubt that she really did feel like this.

"Okay, thank you. It means a lot to me. But it won't be pretty. He has stuff about me, stuff that is not out yet." Peter told her softly, knowing that this might be a deal breaker for her.

"I know. Peter I always knew that you did things in your work. Things that are... compromising..." she ended up saying, after taking a minute to find the right word. "I did things myself over the last few years. Those were never the problem," she told him, surprising him a bit with her honesty.

"Okay, just as long as you know that things will come out. It was always about me being unfaithful, wasn't it? That was the problem," he stated. He needed to know once and for all, what he had really feared their problems were over the last couple of years. And he hoped she would finally tell him. After all this was one of their most honest conversations in years.

"Yes, it was. You hurt me Peter. I never saw it coming. I thought we were happy." She tried to look away from him, as her voice started to grow heavy with emotion.

"I am sorry, Alicia. You have no idea how sorry I am. If only I could change things…" Peter told her softly. He wanted her to believe that, he was sincere.

She nodded slowly as she heard his apology. Suddenly she looked at him. "Will I learn more about that? Does he have something else?" She asked, her gaze suddenly piercing, as she tried to look right into his very soul.

Peter swallowed something, but held her gaze, knowing that they needed to be honest with each other.

"There might be something brought up," he told her. His voice was steady, but nervous at the same time.

"Okay, tell me." Her voice was hard, leaving no doubt that she meant it.

"Alicia, I can't do that. I can't hurt you like that. Torture you emotionally. I can't do that to you." Peter was honest. He could not bear to be the one telling her those things, straight to her face.

"I need to know those things Peter. I can't be surprised again. If there is more, you have to tell me now, so I know what to prepare myself for." She knew that it would be horrible, hearing more details about his affair(s).

"Alicia, are you sure? It might not be brought up." He knew that what she wanted to know would hurt her a lot.

"I am sure. I know it won't be easy to hear those things, but I need to know, as it will be brought up. I am pretty sure Kresteva hates me more than he hates you. If he knows something that will hurt me, it will come out." Her voice was steady and more confident than she really felt as she spoke, but it showed him that she meant every word.

"Okay, I will tell you, but after that I need you to tell me what he might have on you as well." Peter meant it. He knew that it would involve hearing about her affair with Will Gardner, but it was only fair with what he was about to tell her.

Alicia looked down. She really did not want to tell him some of the things that might come up about her. She also knew that he would need to know them anyway, for both of their sake, so that they could be prepared. She nodded in agreement.

Peter rose from the chair and walked into the kitchen. She was about to ask him what he was doing, when he returned with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. She almost laughed at him, but he was right, they would need alcohol with what they were going to talk about.

Peter poured them both a glass and sat down beside her once again. He then took a sip of wine after raising it at her in a toast like gesture.

"Okay. I had her over... Once... In the house. You were visiting your mother, with the kids," he told her, avoiding eye-contact.

Alicia closed her eyes, trying to make the pain of his confession go away. It was not as she was surprised. She had almost expected it ever since the appeal-trial. Back then Glenn Childs had done everything he could to get Peter fall into a trap. One where she and the judge learned that he lied about never having Amber over. She had been hurt back then, so she thought it would be easier to hear about it now, but she was wrong. It still hurt, _a lot_. She felt Peter covering her hand with his, trying to give her just a small sense of comfort. Weirdly enough it did help a little. She turned her hand without really thinking about it, so she could lace her fingers through his. She took a couple of deep breaths before finally opening her eyes, and looking at him.

His eyes were soft and she could read the apology in them. For the first time she was absolutely sure that he regretted what happened.

"I am so sorry, Alicia. I was such a fool," he told her, begging her to understand that he really did regret his actions.

Alicia nodded her head slowly.

"You were," she finally agreed. "Okay. Is there anything else?" Peter's eyes widened in surprise by her new question. He had not expected her to recover so quickly from what he had just told her.

"Alicia, you do realize what I have just told you?" Peter asked carefully. He needed to know that she was not just in denial, and would freak out and shout in a few moments or storm out of the apartment as fast as she could.

"I do, and I would be lying if I said that I was not hurt, but I... I'm not surprised. I had an inkling about it ever since your appeal." She held his gaze and he saw the hurt and sadness there.

"You knew? You never said anything about." He told her, surprised and a little confused.

"I know, maybe I should have but I was in denial back then. I didn't want to believe that you had really done that." She broke eye-contact with him as she looked away. " So tell me, is there more? Anyone else? Anything else?" She asked him.

"No, Alicia. If we are only talking about... about the unfaithfulness, that is all. Mike may make up stories, but they will be untrue, lies. Just like those he has already started to spread about you, and me." Peter told her.

"Good." She turned to him and caught his eyes again, and was comforted by the fact that he was still being sincere. "So you have not been cheating on me for 8 years?"

"No, of cause not. Why would you even think that? Alicia, I am not proud of what I did. I know I hurt you deeply. But I am not that horrible," he told her, shocked that she even asked about such a thing.

"Childs hinted it once. He said he had evidence going back 8 years." Alicia explained to him.

"What? When did he say that? Alicia, he was lying, just like he faked those photos Zach got hold of. He was just trying to hurt you." Peter was furious at Glenn Childs, for having lied to Alicia like that. Only intending to hurt her.

"Good, I thought it was something like that, but I needed to be sure." She agreed with him.

"You believe me?" Peter asked her, not sure if she really could be believing him, even when it came to Glenn Childs lies.

"I do. I finally learned to see when you are lying," she told him. It was true. She could tell from the look in his eyes that, for once, he was being honest about his affairs.

"Thank you," he whispered. Alicia nodded in agreement, and looked him in the eyes.

"I slept with Will," she finally admitted. This time it was Peter's turn to take a deep breath. He already knew it, but like she had said, it still hurt a lot getting it confirmed.

"It started last spring and I ended it back in December. However it is in the transcript from the Grand Jury. Wendy interrogated me about it. She also accused me of only getting promoted because of it, being advised that I was on a partner track because I was sleeping with the boss. And after that I left the stand without being excused." Alicia took a deep breath after saying the last part. She then looked at Peter trying to gauge his reaction. He looked a little sad, hurt and jealous, but he did not look surprised.

"Okay. And do you think Kresteva has proof of it?" He finally asked.

"I do. Plus he might be able to find bills for hotel rooms, to add to the transcript." She looked down. It was not as nice as it should have been, throwing her affair with Will in his face. She felt guilty, sad and a little bit ashamed. Something she knew she had no reason to feel, after all they were separated by the time she started things with Will. "I did not start seeing him until a month after we were separated." She let out.

"To be completely fair, I guess you don't really owe me any explanation." Peter tried to joke with her.

Alicia looked back up at him once again. "I know I don't, but it feels like I do." Her voice was close to a whisper as she said that.

Peter nodded slowly. They had both forgotten about the fact that they were holding hands until Peter carefully rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. It felt nice, almost natural. Alicia thought about the fact that they had both just admitted things that had hurt the other one, but they were still sitting beside each other. They were still holding hands, something she could not remember when they last had. She looked at their joined hands and back up at Peter.

"He might know some other stuff about me as well," she finally told him. She was unsure if she really should be telling him this, but for some reason she felt safe. Safer than she had for a long time.

"Like what?" Peter asked her nervously.

"I don't know if I can tell you this." She was unsure if it was legal or unsafe for herself to give him these information.

"Well, we are still married Alicia, so I can decline to testify against you. If it is something you are scared of." He told her, knowing it was better they got the most of things out now rather than later.

"There was this document I was sure I signed a couple of years ago. We could not find it at first, and suddenly it showed up. I am pretty sure David Lee tricked me into signing a new one," she finally let out. It felt nice telling Peter this, she knew he would not try to make her believe it was her mind playing tricks on her, or that she was wrong. Like others had and would do.

"Okay, he might be able to use that, but we can deny it. It is not like he can prove it," Peter reassured her.

"What if he has gotten hold on the original?" She asked.

"If he has, we will take it from there. But thank you for telling me, for trusting me," he answered her.

"It is not all Peter. There is something else. Something that happened long ago, but that I never told you about." She looked down as she said it. It was clear to Peter that she was uncomfortable.

"Okay, what is it?" He inquired once again.

"It happened a long time ago. It was the first week of college. I went to this party. I knew no one there other than my roommate. She quickly left me alone and ran off with a couple of guys. I got a drink and tried to talk with a couple of other girls there. But I was bored quickly, so I left and walked home alone." She took a couple of deep breaths and Peter placed his other hand on her shoulder, slowly rubbing her back. Trying to give her more comfort. "I... I was attacked Peter," she finally whispered.

Peter stiffened at hearing Alicia revealing this. Why did she never tell him this before? Didn't she trust him? Did she try to forget it so much that she never told anyone? Did she tell Will about it? "Why didn't you ever tell me Alicia?" He whispered. It hurt and angered him, knowing that someone had done something like that to his Alicia. Because no matter what they said, or did, she was still his best girl, his wife and best friend. It also hurt that she never told him about it before. Did she ever really trust him?

"I never told anyone, Peter. I just wanted to forget about it," she answered him.

"If you never told anyone before, why do you suddenly believe that Kresteva might have gotten hold on something about it?" His question was legitimate.

"Because there is a report from the hospital, where I went afterward. I said that I did not want to talk with the police so it did not go any further, but there is a report about my state when I came in that night." She looked at him again. "He might have gotten hold of that one."

Peter nodded, yes she was right. Kresteva might have gotten hold on that report, and he would not be against using it. To hurt Alicia and him by proxy.

"Do you still want me to run, even knowing that might come out?" He finally asked her. He would drop out if she wanted him to. He would not be the one who forced her into the light about her affair with Will Gardner, or her past.

"I do still want you to run, but Peter it is not everything. The story is not over yet. I don't know how we avoided this getting out so far, with your other campaigns, but it hasn't. However if Kresteva learns about it, he will use it. I discovered I was pregnant about two months later. I couldn't have that child. I simply couldn't. When I thought about the child, I thought about what happened, plus I was 18 years old. I did not know what to do." Her voice was starting to weaver.

"You had an abortion." Peter finished for her.

Alicia was on the edge of tears. So she just nodded. As she did that, the tears started to spill from her eyes.

Peter moved his chair over to hers, so he could pull her into his arms without much trouble. He held her close, letting her cry against his shoulder. He rubbed her back slowly, hoping to give her a sense of comfort.

As her sobs turned into hiccups, she pulled back from him. She took the handkerchief he held out to her. She dried her eyes and looked back up at him. "Thank you. I know you are hurt that I have never told you before. But I just wanted to forget everything about it. I didn't tell anyone, besides those at the hospital, about what happened." Her voice was still heavy from her crying.

"It is okay. Yes, I wish you would have told me about it many years ago, but I understand that you tried to bury the memories. Alicia I can't run knowing these things about you might come out and hurt you. I can't hurt you like that. I have already hurt you so much." Peter told her, and he meant every word of it.

"Thank you Peter, for offering to drop out. But I don't want you to. I think you would be amazing as governor. I am just scared what the kids will say about it." Alicia meant what she was saying. She really did want him to run and thought he would do good as governor.

"Alicia. You can't be serious. You would be right back in the spotlight." He was worried now, and unsure if she even knew what she was saying.

"I am serious. You would do good in that office Peter. I know these things will hurt when they get out. And I know that they will also hurt your campaign. But I still believe you have a chance at winning." Her voice was once again steady, unwavering and confident.

"You honestly want me to run? Even knowing that Kresteva won't hesitate to unveil these things? If you mean that, we need to talk with the kids about these things so they are prepared." Peter told her.

"I want you to run, and I will talk to the kids," she answered. She tried to cover it up, but Peter heard her hesitate when she said she would talk to the kids.

"No, Alicia, I won't let you do that alone. We will both be there. We will both explain things to them." Peter was not going to let her go through that alone. He would be there for her. He would have her back. Just like she seemed to want to have his during the election.

"You will?" She asked, not sure if she really believed that he was willing to help her tell the kids these things.

"Yes, I will be there. So are we doing this? Running, I mean?" He asked her one more time, needing to be sure that she was in it.

"No, you are running. I am just supporting you," she answered.

"No, Alicia, you are what really inspires me. I mean it when I say we are running. Unless... unless you really are only doing this to get me elected." Peter was suddenly unsure. Was this what it was all about? Her wanting to see him elected rather than the alternative?

"I... I do want to see you elected, and I know it helps you a lot that I show, that I support you officially. I don't know if I can do anything else at the moment. I wish I could say I could, but I am not sure. I have fired David Lee as my attorney, so I don't plan on a divorce right now. I also know we will have to think about living arrangements for while you are running. I want to say that maybe we can make things work, between the two of us, but I don't know Peter." She voice showed how confused and unsure she really felt about their relationship now and in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Second AP story. It is set more or less right after episode 3.20 and I had not watched the final two episodes when I wrote this.

I am once again very grateful for Sabrina's amazing work on my story and her help in me becoming a better writer.

_I don't own the Good Wife, I only wish I did. _

**Conversations and Agreements Part 2**

The end of last chapter:

"_No, you are running. I am just supporting you," she answered._

"_No, Alicia, you are what really inspires me. I mean it when I say we are running. Unless... unless you really are only doing this to get me elected." Peter was suddenly unsure. Was this what it was all about? Her wanting to see him elected rather than the alternative?_

"_I... I do want to see you elected, and I know it helps you a lot that I show, that I support you officially. I don't know if I can do anything else at the moment. I wish I could say I could, but I am not sure. I have fired David Lee as my attorney, so I don't plan on a divorce right now. I also know we will have to think about living arrangements for while you are running. I want to say that maybe we can make things work, between the two of us, but I don't know Peter." She voice showed how confused and unsure she really felt about their relationship now and in the future. _

* * *

Alicia did in many ways want them to be able to get back together, to where they once were. It would make many things so much easier if they could. Alicia just wasn't sure, they could ever find a way back. She still cared a lot for him, even loved him, but she was not in love with him, and hadn't been for some time. She also knew that he needed her as a part of his political life, even though her past would come back to hurt them both this time around. He would still stand a lot better with her by his side than without.

It would show the voters, that they were able to overcome things; that she thought his political abilities made up for his personal failings. They could probably even spin her past, with a little luck, to make it seem that he was forgiving and caring, towards her, though he once cheated. These things would be a part of getting him elected. A part of that would come from the fact that the voters saw them as a strong couple once again. In other words she knew they could not live apart.

That would be too risky, and it would show ambivalence in what they would be showing in front of the cameras, and the real facts. She knew, they would need to find a solution where they lived together once again. Though she worried how the children would handle that, if it was not a sure thing they were back together, as a real couple.

Alicia also knew that she would most likely never divorce him, because he would always need her support to get as far as he could politically. She had known that for some time. Just like she knew that Eli's interest in Peter and his politics had never been about him becoming State's Attorney once again, or even him becoming governor now. It had always been about a long time goal, one on national basis.

She would not be surprised if Eli was secretly grooming Peter to become senator first and then president later on, or maybe he was even planning on Peter to run for the presidential election in 2016. The democratic keynote speech was a good hint on that front. Alicia knew this and always expected it would come at one point or another.

She also knew that he would need her. Her support in him, but also her as a person to fulfill these things. Peter would never be able to reach those goals as a divorced man who cheated on his ex-wife 18 times with a prostitute. Alicia knew that better than anyone.

She also knew that he would be a good governor, senator or even president in spirit of his personal failings, because when he didn't let himself be ruled by jealousy or emotions he was an amazing politician. They always shared the same political view. Sometimes they disagreed or debated about things, but over all they shared the same vision on how things should be.

Before everything happened, she used to be his most trusted political advisor, though no one else knew this. If he had a dilemma, and/or he disagreed on what everyone else tried to make him think or advised him on, he always came to her. And she had always been able to help him out. She wrote more of his speeches than she could remember. Those he wrote himself, or had others write, she had gone over with him, most of the times.

She had even, while he was in office the first time, helped him out with some of his cases, discussed strategies with him, listened to him go through his closing arguments and gave him feedback, sometimes even giving the opposite arguments, and told him what the defense would most likely focus on. Because though she had been out of work for many years, at that point, she had never completely forgotten it.

She was pretty sure that he had won more cases, because of these sessions, than they could count. It was also a big part of what had helped her, when she first returned to work. That though it was never said and she never told anyone, she had been out of work herself, but she had never been completely gone from cases as many would think. In addition to that, she knew better than anyone what the State's Attorney's office tended to focus on.

Alicia wanted that back in many ways and she knew it was important to him as well. So maybe she could promise to give him that, though, she could not promise she would ever be able to invite him back into her bed again.

The problem was, would that be enough for them? She knew she could not start to date or see someone else again, it would risk hurting Peter's image. The same applied to Peter, he would not be able to date or see someone else, as the whole image they could maybe build up, would fall apart again if it was learned they had other people on the side line and were not really together.

Peter looked at her intensely. "So, what you are saying is, that you want us to officially act like we are together again, so that I can get elected. But you are not sure it can ever again be something more?" He asked her.

"Yes, something like that. Peter, I am not sure I can ever again share a bed with you. You hurt me deeply. But I do think we are in a better place at the moment, in a friendly place. We used to share things, other than a bed and the kids, and I think we can get those back. I used to help you politically, advice you, write speeches and discuss issues with you. I can do that again. I want to do that again. I mean, if you want it." She hesitated in saying the last part, because she was honestly not sure how he would feel about that.

Peter nodded slowly. "I can't say it will be easy for me to know that you might never want something more again, but I have missed having your support and advice. I have missed it a lot actually. We were a great team back then, weren't we? But I need to ask you, do you still care about me just a little?" He was not sure what he expected her to answer to that. It really could go both ways as far as he knew.

"I agree, we used to be a great team, and I would like to be that again. The other thing. Yes, Peter I still care. I still love you. I don't think I will ever stop loving you in some sense of the word. You are my husband and the father of my children, you will always be those things. But I am not in love with you anymore. Therefore I am not sure I can ever share a bed again, be your lover and not just your political wife again. Can you live with that?" Peter's eyes had started to widen the moment she actually admitted that she still loved him, and he had felt as his blood-pressure had started to go up, dropping again the moment she said she was not in love with him, and was unsure if she ever could share his bed again and be his lover. Alicia did not stop there but instead she continued speaking: "We both know that you will need me to reach higher up in the political hierarchy, but do you want to live like that to reach it? I am in, if you want it. What you are fighting for, and have always been fighting for, is too important, and something I always shared with you, so I am willing to help you reach a place where you can change things." Her speech was probably one she could have gotten him a lot of voters with, if she said it on TV, at least the last part of it.

Peter nodded once again finally understanding completely what she was offering him. He did want the power and the position, and he finally understood that, in many ways, she did as well.

However, would this be enough for him? He still loved her, deeply. He was in love with her. He longed for her, and wished she would share his longing and desire. He was not sure if he could really act like they were married to everybody else and never again share a bed with her. Never again make love to her, though she was still his wife and everybody else would presume they were. Could he really go on without those things, just so he could get the power with her support? Maybe he could as long as he knew she would not be sleeping with someone like Will Gardner on the sideline. If she did, it would be too much.

"Okay I do want those things, but one thing I need to ask. You are not planning on seeing Will on the side are you? I am not sure I could do it with you dating Will at the same time." He knew that in many ways it might seem unfair, after all he was the one who cheated.

"No, I am not. That would not be fair to anyone, him, you, or myself. He has some feelings for me that I don't return, I would not be here offering you this, if I did return them. I know you wouldn't accept it anyway. That I saw Will at the same time. In fact I won't be seeing anyone, and I don't think you should either. It would hurt the image too much if any of us was discovered having another affair. I know it is unfair, I won't give you sex but I don't think you should be going to others to get it." Alicia answered him.

Peter considered what she had just said. At least she did not plan on seeing anyone else. But could he really live maybe a whole life in celibacy? He had done it for some time now. Truth to be told, his sex-life had been very minor ever since his affair with Amber Madison came out. But could he really live with never having one again? He knew that she was right, that it would do a lot of harm to his image if any of them dated or slept with someone else on the side.

However, was it really worth sanctifying that part of his life to have Alicia as his wife in name and her support and help in his political life? Even more, did he really ever want someone else again other than her? He loved her now and had not really been tempted to seek out someone else after she kicked him out. There were many reasons for that, he had been busy, he knew it would be damaging to his political image, but mostly he wanted to show her that he really changed and would not go and sleep with the first woman that came along. That he was willing to wait for her, but here she was confirming that she might never get there again. Was he willing to take the chance that she would change her mind?

He once told her he did not want his parents marriage, and she did not either, but it was about more. His parents had not slept in the same bedroom for 20 years, and her mother had been passive aggressive on his father, though she never showed it officially. She had also not been his closest advisor like Alicia had been his, and his parents had never really had that kind of friendship or partnership Alicia was still offering him again. Plus, more importantly, his father kept on cheating on his mother. Something his mother did not know, that he knew anything about it.

There was a very small possibility of him and Alicia becoming like his parents, even if they didn't share a bedroom ever again. It was still something that he had a hard time imagining, but maybe he would be able to gain her trust and heart again so she would be willing to share her heart, body and bed with him once more. Until then, he would enjoy the partnership she was offering him.

"Okay, Alicia. But you need to know this: I won't give up on the chance that you might someday want more again. I still want more. I love you, I am in love with you. And I will do everything to make you feel like that again," he finally told her, while looking directly into her eyes. He saw how they widened slightly, as he told her those words. And how her pupils started to dilate. Something he took as a good sign. At least it meant that he could still affect her that way, at least a bit. That gave him some hope for their future, though she might not see them getting back to a point where they were sharing a bed again right now. However the fact that he could make her pupils dilate was a hint that she might be able to do it someday.

Alicia nodded in agreement.

"Okay, just as long as you are clear on the fact that I am not in love with you right now. That I don't know if I will ever fall back in love with you. That you won't resent me for that," she told him at last.

"I do. And I won't resent you, I don't think I could ever resent you Alicia. As you said, we were many things, other than just lovers and co-parents. You were my best friend, my closest confident, my most trusted advisor. And I miss those things as well. But I also will do everything to try and win your heart once again," he answered her.

Alicia gave him a slight hint of a smile.

"Okay. So we have a deal? We are going to do this?" She asked him, holding out a hand for him to shake, to seal the business deal they in many ways had just made.

"We are going to do this," he agreed and shook her hand in agreement.

"So we need to get information on Kresteva, so we have something for leverages," she told him afterward, as she took a sip of the wine that they had more or less forgotten all about.

"We do. Eli has already started to look into him, and I will try to find us a PI, who I can hire," Peter answered her.

"Why don't you leave the PI to me?" Alicia asked him after a moment of hesitation.

"Why? Are you planning on quitting your job and start playing private investigator?" Peter tried to joke with her. And it worked, as she let out a soft laughter at his joke.

"No, that is not what I meant. I will hire Kalinda to do it. She is most likely better than most of those you could find, if not all of them." Alicia explained to him.

"Kalinda? Are you really okay with that?" Peter was surprised, this was a shock to him, but if she really was open to hire Kalinda, he would not object in any way. He knew Alicia was correct. Kalinda would be better at getting them information than anyone he would be able to find, and in addition to that, the investigator was fierce loyal to Alicia. Something others they could find would not be. And they would risk someone playing double agent.

"I am okay with that. We have become close again. Plus I just had her look into some other stuff for me. And I know she will be our best option in this case." Alicia explained, making sure Peter knew that though she might not be aver forget what happened between him and her friend in the past. She was on better terms with the later and would be alright having her help them out. "She once offered to "talk" with Amber Madison for me. That time she started to call me at work. And we need someone who is willing to do stuff like that, to beat Kresteva at his own game."

Peter could hear how serious she was as she explained things to him. "Okay, as long as you are comfortable in asking her. But I don't want you to do it, if you are not completely sure." He could never ask her to do that, if she still held a lot of resentment to the investigator, and to him, for sleeping with her. This could end up being very complicated.

"I am. As I said, Kalinda and I are in a better place. We are working on being friends again. I have forgiven her, if that is what you are asking," Alicia told him.

"It was. So you have forgiven her, but not me?" He wanted to ask her about that for a long time but never had the courage. He really wanted to know if she had forgiven him or at least was working on it.

Alicia looked down for a moment and then back up once more, locking eyes with him. "I have forgiven you as well. At least I am almost there. You have done other things for me, since it happened. Things that showed you cared, and they helped. You do have my forgiveness Peter. I would not be here right now otherwise." She admitted softly. "It is also a part of why I did not get up and leave earlier when you said you would not give up hope on winning my heart back once again. I might not be in love with you at the moment, but I don't resent you. And I can't say that I will never fall in love with you again. There is a chance that I will, there is also a chance of the opposite. But I have forgiven you." She confirmed finally.

Peter was shocked to learn this. It was more than he had been able to hope for, and it meant a lot to him.

"Thank you Alicia, it means a lot to me. I really am sorry for what I have done to you," he whispered.

"I know you are," she replied.

"Okay, there is one thing you need to know regarding Kalinda." Seeing how she started to tense up a bit, he quickly continued. "She might not agree to do any work for me."

With those words out Alicia, visibly relaxed once more.

"Don't worry about it. I think she only felt like that because she was afraid of angering me more. I will ask her to do it, and explain it will also help me." Alicia smiled at him once more.

"You really are trying to have my back, aren't you?" Peter teased her once more.

"I am. I do have your back Peter, like in many ways I always knew that you had mine in the really important things." Alicia confessed to him.

"Okay, if you really mean that. There is something I need to show you and ask you." Peter was a bit uncomfortable telling her this.

"I do have your back if that is what you meant. Hey where are you going?" She asked as Peter got up from the chair and left once more. He came back a minute later and handed her a letter.

"What is this?" She asked as she started to fold out the letter and read it.

"The lawsuit you have been working on for the last 6 months, the one that starts in a couple of weeks. The one about the drug company dumping their trash close to a suburb neighborhood giving leading to health issues with the people living there, and contaminating the water. I am being deposed in that one." Peter explained to her as she read the letter.

"I don't understand... why would you be deposed?" Alicia asked him.

"Because it is close to the area which had something to do with those cases I DP'ed in my first run. Those areas with the allegedly corrupted real-estate practices." Peter explained to her. "They might think that I have led you on to it, given you insider information, about those areas and things that happened there, and were wrong with them."

Alicia looked shocked at him. "Peter this is serious. You didn't tell me anything about those areas, but if they think that, it means that they are going after a disbarment of you."

He nodded in agreement. "I know. But even more they are trying to prove that we shared confident information about cases, they are not just going after me Alicia. To be honest, I think it has very little to do with me, and everything to do with taking you and the firm down. Showing that the firm gets illegal help, that you are only winning cases because of it. That your firm is corrupted."

Alicia was shocked to say the least, she had not even thought about that at first. Only that Peter might get disbarred once again.

"You really believe that?" She finally asked.

"I do," he confirmed.

"But we are not, at least not that I know of. Not more than anyone else," she defended.

"I know. I really do, but I don't think it will help much this time. It is not about what is true or not, it is about what appears to be the truth," Peter told her.

Alicia nodded in agreement.

"Well, you still need to hire a lawyer for this. Who are you thinking of? Elsbeth Tascioni?" She asked.

"I think I just hired one." Peter smiled at her, as she came to realize what he was saying. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You are asking me to be your lawyer?" She asked just to be sure.

Peter nodded at her. "I do, you said you would have my back. And to be honest, I trust no one else more at the moment, in the middle of a campaign, than you. Everybody else I would always fear would leak something to the press, but I know you wouldn't. So will you do it, be my lawyer?" He asked.

Alicia nodded. "I will. As long as you are sure," she answered.

"I am sure." He smiled back at her, before he looked at his watch, and sighed.

"Okay, I guess I better get back to the hospital and you should get home to the kids. Will you bring them over to see my mother at some point?" He asked her.

"Yeah, you should go over and check on her, I am sorry for keeping you so long. We can talk more about these things tomorrow, including the deposition. Yes, I will bring them over to the hospital tomorrow after work. If that is okay with you." Alicia got up from the chair, and walked out to the hallway.

Peter followed her and helped her into her jacket.

"It is fine. I am glad we got to talk about these things, Alicia. Yeah after work is fine. About the deposition, do you want me to come to your office to talk to you about it during work hours?" He inquired.

"No, I will come over to yours. I have a court meeting anyway, so I am over there and we can talk. Peter, I am glad we got to talk as well," she said as she suddenly hugged him without another word. Peter let his arms slid around her pulling her closer and holding her against his chest. He nuzzled her hair with his nose, smelling her in. As he enjoyed the feeling of having her in his arms once more. It lasted only a moment then she pulled back.

"Okay drive safe Alicia. And I will see you tomorrow," he told her.

"I will. Oh and tell Jackie I wish she gets well soon," Alicia said, though she hated saying it.

Peter raised an eyebrow at her, knowing fully well that Jackie and Alicia was not the best of friends and something had gone on with them ever since Alicia and he separated. Never less he nodded, as he opened the door for her.

"I will, good night Alicia." He smiled as he watched her leave, before locking the door and walking back into the apartment so he could get the stuff he would need before he went to see Jackie once more tonight.


End file.
